Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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