Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
