: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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