I cannot find my penis.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
