3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
