And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
