the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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