had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
