Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
