just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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