If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize