Whod you bang
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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