i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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