imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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