she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
