Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
