their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
