He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
