well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
