i barfeds in our rink
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize