Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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