so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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