He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
