wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
