do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize