It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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