how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
