Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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