then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
