Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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