DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Holy sore nipples Batman
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
