no, he came in my armpit
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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