how can u be prego again
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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