i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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