I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We have started to decorate penises.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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