...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
