Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
