I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I supernannyed him into submission
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize