I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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