your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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