OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
