I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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