Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
