i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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