Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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