Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
