When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
