I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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