all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
