walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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