So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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