does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
