Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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