one two three fourrrrnication!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
