Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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