I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
