ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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