i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
