Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
